Helping a Friend Through a Divorce

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If you really want to help me, encourage my children to honor their mother. I felt patted on the head and sent back into the room after being told to try harder and keep taking on the chin whatever was being dished out, because I probably deserved it. I think only Chrissy can answer that question of how long is right and then to give up the marriage.

I don't remember ever reading about this particular topic in the Bible. She is saying if we get one instead of when we get one.

What Every Christian Woman Should Know about Divorce

The Christian Broadcasting Network CBN is a global ministry committed to preparing the nations of the world for the coming of Jesus Christ through mass media. Using television and the Internet, CBN is proclaiming the Good News in 149 countries and territories, with programs and content in 67 languages. If you have an immediate prayer need, please call our 24-hour prayer line at 800-945-5640. CBN's ministry is made possible by the support of our CBN Partners. It's not only the death of a marriage, but also the death of dreams and hopes, and can be more painful than physical death which at least has a finality to it. Of one thing we can be sure, however, even though God hates divorce as well as everything else that is harmful to people , he loves divorced people and families and wants them to be healed and made whole. The healing or recovery process may not be easy but it sure beats staying in the valley of despair. So, if we have experienced the tragedy of divorce, how can we recover, grow through it and allow it to make us much healthier persons? First, acknowledge the loss. After the initial shock it's tempting to go into denial either by refusing to face the reality of what has happened or by burying our feelings of hurt, anger and grief. So the first step in recovery is to face the reality of the situation and be truly honest with how we feel. Second, accept the pain as being normal. Pain is nature's way to tell us something is broken and needs fixing. Whether a broken arm or a broken heart, the pain needs to motivate us to get the help we need to heal and to take proper care of ourselves. Third, realize that this, too, will pass. With divorce it is easy to feel that life is over and that we will never love again. However, if we work through the recovery process, the pain will pass and we can come out much healthier and more mature persons. Fourth, don't waste your pain, invest it. The greatest way we can invest our pain is to use it to motivate us to grow and become better persons, and then support others who are going through divorce and help them to see that they, too, can survive and become happier, healthier persons. Fifth, give yourself time to heal. A broken arm takes six weeks to heal. Broken hearts take much longer -- but not forever. As we work through the recovery steps, we will heal. For some it may take up to a year or more. But, if we still haven't resolved our pain after say two years, chances are we haven't faced or dealt with our feelings and that is keeping us stuck. If this is your case, I suggest getting professional counsel to help you work through your loss and the recovery process. Sixth, do your grieving now. With all loss there are many emotions such as hurt, anger, guilt, and deep grief- - all of which need to be expressed creatively otherwise they will be acted out destructively. Find a safe person to share them with even if it has to be a professional counselor. If we put walls around our negative feelings we also block out our positive feelings. A vital part of the healing process is to weep and even sob out our grief. Failing to forgive keeps us bound to the past but to make genuine forgiveness possible, we need to resolve and get rid of all our negative emotions of hurt, anger, and grief. Unless we do this, we will take our negative emotions into all our future close relationships. Eighth, let go of the past. I've worked with people who were divorced as long as twenty years ago and were still hanging onto the fantasy that their ex-spouse would return -- even though they had remarried. We need to work through our pain, then let go of it. It helps to hand our failures over to God, ask for his forgiveness for our part in the marriage breakup, receive it by faith and then forgive ourselves. Then leave it with God and get on with life. Ninth, guard against a rebound. Rushing into another romantic relationship too soon can cause us to avoid facing the pain of our marriage breakup and then, if we marry before resolving our past, we are destined to repeat it. Tenth, get into a support group. None of us can make it alone. We weren't meant to. We need to be connected to safe, supportive, accepting, and non-judgmental people. We got hurt in hurtful relationships and get healed in wholesome relationships. Eleventh, realize that failure is never final and that the only real failure is not to get up one more time than we fall down. Twelfth, call on God for help. Especially pray that God will show you the truth of what you contributed to your marriage breakup and why your were attracted to the person you married in the first place. The danger is that what we don't resolve we are destined to repeat. Remember that no matter what you have ever done or failed to do, God loves you and wants to make you whole. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Used by permission of New Life Ministries. New Life Ministries has a variety of resources on men, women and relationships. Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE or visit.

The next day she came to me crying. The Christian Broadcasting Network CBN is a responsible ministry committed to preparing the nations of the world for the coming of Jesus Christ through mass media. Billings but also my admiration because of your deep desire to obey God, rely on Him, not give up and walk away when many, many others would in your case. For sometjing does not feel right and you cannot reconcile it after reasonable effort and time, walk away. My wife immediately went and filed for divorce. Six years ago while we were going through a tough time, our pastor prayed with us and for the first time I realized that I had never anon asked God to forgive me. I choose to tell the guys that I date either before or no later than on the 1st date. Is there anyone that can hear my cry for help. God was revealing to Adam his incomplete nature. Be the Kind of Gusto You Want to Live With Have you stopped to consider how you are acting towards your spouse?.